


Ironic

by KateKintail



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Daisy Chain of Awesome, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-01-16
Packaged: 2018-01-08 21:47:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KateKintail/pseuds/KateKintail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius comes up with a plan to get at Peter, but runs into the last person he wants to see.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ironic

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: JKR’s characters. I play for free and for fun.
> 
> Notes: Written for the Harry Potter Daisy Chain of Awesome

Sirius Black looked at his reflection, almost unable to believe it. It was one thing to transform into a dog and quite another to be a completely different person. One minute he was a dog, watching a man board the Knight Bus, destination: somewhere other than Hogsmede. And the next minute, he was looking at the face of that man again, staring back at him from out of a mirror. The Polyjuice Potion had been a complete success, and now Sirius had a full hour to work with. 

First on the agenda had been changing his prison garb into proper robes. Second had been getting a drink at the Three Broomsticks. What he really wanted to do was to storm right up to the castle, track Peter Pettigrew down, and wring that little rat’s neck. But he’d settle for an hour of gathering crucial information in the pub. Not to mention having a hot meal for a change. He felt a bit sorry for the man he was impersonating, but it couldn’t be helped. If Sirius didn’t find out what was going on in the town and at the school, he would never figure out how to avenge his best friends. 

He sat at the bar, managing to hold himself back just barely from devouring his crisps and pork scratchings in two bites. The slower he ate, the more he was likely to overhear… and the less likely he was to have an upset stomach from the severe change of diet. Luckily, he was not disappointed. Nearly everyone was talking about the escaped convict and the Dementors now stationed in Hogsmede. Sirius had been lucky not to have encountered one of those monsters on his way into the pub, and they left him alone completely when he was a dog. He sat at the counter, listening, planning, strategizing. And he was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice the man walking up to him until it was too late to leave.

“Well, well, Barnibus. I thought you were planning to leave an hour ago. I wonder why it is you’re still here.”

Sirius froze in horror as he turned his head and looked right into the face of the Minister of Magic himself, Cornelius Fudge. “I… realized I was hungry,” Sirius blurted out, wishing he had selected someone else’s hair instead. Was this Barnibus fellow wanted for something? The irony of getting this far, into disguise, just to be arrested in someone else’s identity was overwhelmingly painful.

“Oh,” said Fudge, resting a hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “I’m sure you are.” He pushed Sirius back a little then moved to go. A few steps away, he stopped and looked back. “You’re coming along without a fuss, aren’t you, Barnibus? I wouldn’t want to have to call the Dementors.”

A handful of people in the pub were watching them now. And if Fudge expected Sirius to follow him, Sirius had no choice but to obey. He didn’t know what the reason was or what their relationship was, but if he didn’t want to be found out, he had to play along. 

He found the answer to his question soon enough, when Fudge marched him outside. When they were out of the pub, Fudge cornered him. Fudge pressed himself up against Sirius’ front and grabbed hold of his upper arms. He forced a kiss onto Sirius’ shocked mouth. “Come with me,” he whispered. Then, in a flash, he had Apparated them both. 

Sirius recognized the place by sight and smell; it was the inn. They’d only gone a few meters down the street. They were inside one of the guest bedrooms, one that had Fudge’s things strewn about the place. Clearly, this was where the man stayed when he was in town. And, from the vibe he was getting from Fudge, this is where Barnibus had stayed as well.

“Fudge,” Sirius began, but Fudge gave him a stern look.

“I thought we established that you were supposed to call me Minister at all times.” 

Sirius nodded, shocked. “Sorry, Minister.”

Fudge grinned with pleasure. “That’s better.” Not thirty seconds after Apparating, Fudge pulled out his wand. With a wave and flick, Fudge made their clothes disappear. And not a moment later, before Sirius even had time to shiver and adjust, he had tackled Sirius. They fell onto the bed with a considerable thump and a screech of springs, but that didn’t slow Fudge down. His body rubbed eagerly against Sirius’ and his hands flew about, touching everywhere as they tumbled about the sheets and blankets. 

Sirius knew, deep down, that he should be stunned. The problem was that he had gone without sex for far too long to be anything but horny now. It didn’t matter that the man touching him wanted him dead. It didn’t matter that he only had thirty-two minutes to devise an escape before he turned back into himself. It didn’t matter that Sirius had never actually been with a man. All that mattered was that their bodies seemed to want each other and would accept no delay. 

It was strange, really, like participating in a movie. He was unfamiliar with both of the bodies stretched out before him, yet aroused at the same time. Barnibus was slightly shorter than Sirius, and his cock was unexpectedly cut. Sirius wasn’t so sure what to do with that. He moved clumsily and uncertainly at first, but a few moans from Fudge told him that Barnibus could basically do no wrong here. Not to mention that Fudge was surprisingly good at this. Sirius might not have been familiar with their bodies, but Fudge seemed to know his way around without trying. 

When he shoved Sirius’ legs upwards and slid in, Fudge’s moan of pleasure was almost enough to make Sirius come, right then and there. In fact, the whole thing didn’t last as long as Sirius would have expected. He still had a few minutes after the act in which to make an escape.

Fudge lay on his bed, utterly exhausted. His eyes closed and would not open. Sirius lay beside Fudge, just as tired, but unable to find the peace needed for sleep. He whispered, “Fudge?” Then, softer. “Minister, are you awake?” 

The man stirred slightly, smacking his lips, but did not really wake. 

With a deep breath, Sirius whispered into Fudge’s ear, “Sirius Black isn’t a murderer. You should stop hunting Sirius Black.” 

Fudge stirred again. “Sirius… Black…” he muttered in his sleep.

And Sirius was shocked to discover the way his stomach flipped now after hearing the man say his name. “That’s right. Sirius Black. Leave Sirius Black alone,” Sirius said. But his voice was slightly lower than Barnibus’ had been, and Sirius knew it was time to leave. 

Sirius hurriedly found clothes and snuck out. He made it out of the inn and into a secluded alley just in time to transform.


End file.
